6. HOW HE WOULD WANT TO HANDLE AN UNPLANNED PREGNANCY
If you’re pro-choice and absolutely never want to give birth to anything but he’s anti-choice and would never support an abortion (or if you know you would never want to have an abortion but he would expect you to), you need to know that before committing to him. In the event of an unplanned pregnancy, you could find yourself having to either give up your spouse or your choice, and that would be a terrible position to find yourself in.
7. HOW OFTEN HE PREFERS TO SOCIALIZE AND WHERE
If he’s the extroverted party guy who needs to go to the bar several times a week or likes to have loud house parties all the time, you need to make sure you can live with that. It’s tough for introverts to constantly be expected to socialize, especially if we can’t even catch a minute of peace in our own homes because the living room is full of ex-frat boys doing keg stands. If you aren’t on the same page about this, it can cause disagreements about both social plans and finances, because going out and hosting parties can be expensive.
8. WHETHER HE’S JEALOUS OR INSECURE
Guys who are insecure have a tendency to pass along their insecurities to anyone who can be saddled with them, and it sucks living with someone who constantly assumes you’re cheating, questions where you go and who you’re hanging out with, or makes you “check in” hourly whenever you’re apart. No marriage can work without trust, so don’t marry him if he doesn’t trust you.
9. HOW DOMESTIC HE IS
Even if you don’t live together before marriage, you can figure out over time if he’s the cleanly type or a huge slob, and if he cooks or if his best culinary work is accomplished by ordering take out. It’s better to know in advance what responsibilities you’d have to take on in this hypothetical marriage so you’re not blindsided by the expectations.
10. WHETHER HIS EXPECTATION OF MARRIAGE IS THE SAME AS YOURS
I saved this one for last because it’s overall the most important. Some people approach marriage as another box to check off of their life goals checklist, thinking they’ll just get a divorce if it doesn’t work out. That wasn’t the idea or intent behind the institution of marriage; it’s supposed to be something you fight for, even when it’s not easy. Make sure you’re on the same page before you write your vows or say yes to the dress; you’ll be glad you did.